Jay and Silent Bob's Excellent Newsies Adventure
by Blaze Lanigan
Summary: Once upon a time in New Jersey lived two characters named Jay and Silent Bob. Each day they went to the Quick Stop. Each day they partied. Each day they scored something to toke. Until one day, all that changed...
1. Chapter One

JAY AND SILENT BOB'S EXCELLENT NEWSIES ADVENTURE

  


* * *

Hello and welcome to another crazy story. This was started back in 2001, believe it or not. I never did get around to finishing it, but I'd like to try. It centers around Kevin Smith and Newsies characters, plus a bunch of gals from a CC I did way back when. Hopefully you'll laugh a bit!  
  
Cast list is huge:  
  
Felicia – Firecracker  
Nick – Mush  
Brooke – Whiskey  
Vincent – Specs  
Fiona – April  
Trey – Blink  
Kate – Lady Luck  
Mark – Scribbles  
Gabi - Blaze  
Dom – Bumlets  
Jeri-Lynn – Goosey  
Dominic – Itey  
Elisabeth– Mayhem  
Lynn – Chesa  
Barbara – Mboid  
Andrea/Andi – Autumn  
Christian – Jack  
Melody - Bitter  
Patrick - Spot  
Catalina - Cats  
Tony – Race  
Melissa - Tapper  
Mike – Skittery  
Charlotte/Charlie – Noodle  
  
I started writing with real names, but that gets hard, so I switched to nicknames. Hopefully it will be easier to follow. I'm also adding more people. Relic will have a cameo, as will Slash. So if you'd like one, I guess you better get to reading!  


* * *

  
New Jersey - the Garden State. Home to Newark Airport, Umberto's Pizza, Bon Jovi, and of course, Jay and Silent Bob.  
  
On a crisp December morning, the Quick Stop in Red Bank, New Jersey was devoid of life. Despite the time of five past six in the morning, the lights were off, and the doors were closed.  
  
"I cannot believe you dragged me out of bed at six in the morning to go to a convenience store of all places," Nick 'Mush' Meyers whined. Named for his his mush-like complexion and way with the women, Nick was no stranger to being whipped by his girlfriend. "We don't have school for another two whole hours! That's two hours of quality sleep time!"  
  
Felicia 'Firecracker' Williams ruffled his chia-pet like hair. "You know how important cherry flavored lollipops are to me! The other store has been out of them for a week. This is the only other place to get them in this town," she explained. "And I direly need them for school today." Felicia had curly, fire engine red hair. It was no wonder she donned the nickname of Firecracker.  
  
"You…woke me up… for lollipops?!" Mush cried.  
  
"Relax! I'll treat you to some BBQ Ridgy potato chips, just for driving me, okay?" Firecracker offered. _Sheesh, some men… strike that - boys!_  
  
"Well," Mush started, surveying the situation. "I suppose that would be acceptable." He did love those potato chips, no matter what time of day.  
  
Firecracker grinned. "Good boy. You're the best! Now drive faster or someone might steal all my cherry flavored lollipops before we get there." She patted his shoulder. "You'd think there was a conspiracy against these things. I cannot believe the other store is out of them!"  
  
Mush held his tongue from expressing just how much her cherry obsession frightened him at times. He pulled into the empty parking lot of the Quick Stop, his brakes screeching to a haphazard halt.  
  
"Are we early or something?" Mush asked, scratching his poofy hair.  
  
"No, we can't be." Firecracker checked her wristwatch, complete with flame wristband, and cherries behind each number on the face of it. "It's 6:10! Damn place opens at 6!" she exclaimed.  
  
Jumping out of Mush's car, Firecracker stomped up to the door. Sure enough, the place was sealed. Peering inside, she didn't notice any movement, except for a cat patrolling the aisles.  
  
"Can I go back to bed now?" Mush whined.  
  
"Are you nuts!" Firecracker exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. "I _need_ those lollipops! I have a test today! They calm me down, not to mention anything cherry is good luck!"  
  
Banging his forehead against the hard steering wheel, Mush sighed. "So I guess that means we are waiting here until the dude comes to open the store, doesn't it?" It was more a statement than a question, since he already knew the answer.  
  
Groaning as Firecracker mouthed 'duh' to him, she turned back to the door of the convenience store and cupped her hands to the glass. "I can see them from here… my cherry friends, just waiting for me… Damnit, who was supposed to open today?!" she cried. "If it's Dante, I'll kill him."  
  
"What'd that fucker do now?" a ragged, and rather lethargic voice asked.  
  
Firecracker pulled herself away from the door to see two figures stumbling towards her. "Well, if it ain't Jay and Silent Bob. What the hell are you doing out of bed this early?"  
  
"Bed? Fuck, we haven't even _been_ to bed yet, right Silent Bob?" He turned to his partner, who nodded in agreement before hastily lighting another cigarette.  
  
"Where the hell have ya been all night then?"  
  
"Party, where else?" Jay shrugged before leaning up against the wall for support. "Bitches kept me up all fucking night. One after another… They were all over me…" At that statement he received a nudge in the side. "Oh, and Silent Bob. Yeah, they loved you too." Jay rolled his eyes as Silent Bob grinned.  
  
"So anyway, where is that dickhead, Dante?"  
  
Firecracker groaned. "Not here, obviously. I bet he was supposed to open too. He always does on Fridays, and then he complains about working the weekends, putz…"  
  
"Huh?" Jay asked, his attention wavering at the car of girls that had just driven past. "Yeah, he's a putz alright. What the hell do you need anyway? Fuck, there are a ton of convenience stores around."  
  
"But only one store that has the lollipops I need!" Firecracker cried, exasperated. "The only other one with this brand has been out of stock for a god damn week."  
  
Jay shook his head. "Women…" he grumbled. "So go to Dante's mom's house and wake him up then."  
  
"And miss out if he comes by and opens up while we're chasing his ass around? Hell no. I'll wait… Hey, that gives me an idea."  
  
Jay raised a brow, Silent Bob doing the same.  
  
"You two don't have anything better to do. Why don't you go to his house and wake him up," Firecracker suggested.  
  
"Nothing better to do? We got plenty, like…" he stuttered and saw Firecracker cross her arms.  
  
"All right fine… But what's in it for us? Head?"  
  
"Fuck you Jay!" Mush yelled from the car.  
  
"No, not head, Jay. Shit is that all you ever think about?" Just as Jay was about to answer a wholehearted 'yes', Firecracker continued. "Think about it this way – if you don't get the Quick Stop open, then as soon as word gets around town, not as many people are going to come by, and your little side business out here ain't gonna run as smoothly today."  
  
"Hell, like we need a damn milk store to keep our business going!" Jay exclaimed.  
  
"What do ninety percent of your customers do before or after they buy your goods?" Firecracker asked.  
  
"Depends… guys or bitches?" Jay inquired, raising his nose in the air.  
  
"What does that matter?"  
  
"Shit, like you gotta ask. The bitches fuck me afterwards, and the guys fuck this tubby bitch over here," Jay grinned.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Silent Bob stepped away from Jay before taking another drag on his cigarette.  
  
"Wrong loverboy. They go into either that convenience store right there and buy something, or they head over to the video store for a porno. Face it, they're not just here to see your ass everyday," Firecracker explained.  
  
Jay sighed, and turned to his counterpart. "What do you think, Silent Bob?" As Bob's response was a mere shrug, Jay looked back at Firecracker.  
  
"All right. I guess we could wake his sorry ass up. But I still think some head come along with the deal."  
  
"Watch your mouth, Jay! Jesus!" Mush yelled.  
  
"Hey, I'm doing your girl here a favor…" Before he could continue, Silent Bob tapped his shoulder. "I mean, _we're_ doing her a favor! The least she could do is line up someone else to put out if she ain't gonna do it!"  
  
"Just get going already!" Mush cried, annoyed again by Jay's tone.  
  
"Yeah, whatever. C'mon Silent Bob." The two trudged off, leaving a disgruntled Mush and a hopeful Firecracker.  
  
"Mush, you know how Jay is. There's no point in arguing with him," Firecracker commented as she walked back to the car.  
  
"Well, he should watch his mouth sometimes," Mush frowned.  
  
Deciding that it was now time to make Mush forget about Jay and his mouth, Firecracker slipped her arms around Mush's neck. "I can think of something better to spend your time thinking about," she smirked before leaning in to kiss him.  
  


****

  
"Wait… Do we even _know_ the way to that fuckers' house?" Jay frowned. "Not like we ever wanted to go to his shitty place. Damnit Silent Bob, why don't you fucking lead for once? I always hafta be the dominant one in this relationship."  
  
Shrugging, Silent Bob picked up his pace, tossing his cigarette carelessly to the side. He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets, squinting his eyes in the wind as he walked on.  



	2. Chapter Two

Thank-you to April, Relic, Chesa, and Autumn for encouragement!! And RAVEN for the name... And the ones that reviewed ages ago when I first wrote this. :P 

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"Mr. Bon Jovi, you're needed on the set. Filming's about to start in five minutes."  
  
"All right, be right there!" Checking the mirror one last time to make sure his outfit was right, Jon ran a hand through his blonde hair before making his way out of the trailer. He was shooting his new movie in Red Bank, New Jersey, right by his own home, and constantly smiled at the thought of not having to be far away from his family.  
  
"Ah, Jon! Good, we're all set for you. You're co-star is already in place. We'll start with your line, then go from there, alright?" the director, Elisabeth Albrecht, informed Jon. Her coworkers knew her as 'Mayhem' because of her temper and interesting way to work with the cast. She massaged her forehead with several fingers, already uptight from the beginning of the day. So far they'd lost two hours of filming time due to lighting problems, the caterer never showed up so they had to make a trip to the local Dunkin' Donuts, and the imported chocolate from Germany that she always carried around had been eaten 'accidentally' by another crew member.  
  
"Which line are we starting with?" Jon asked, his attention wavering from the director to the huge crowd that had formed around the supposedly closed-off street.  
  
"This one, Jon," Mayhem answered hurriedly, pointing to the script. "Got it?" She did _not_ have the patience for this today.  
  
"Got it," Jon answered. He took one last look at the script before looking up to see his co-star already in position.  
  
"We'll be ready to go in about two minutes," Mayhem announced before heading over to yell at another crew member. "What the _hell_ are you doing with that!" she screamed.  
  
Ignoring Mayhem's mood, Jon smiled at his co-star. "Hi there, good-lookin'."  
  
"Jon," Kit smiled. "So good to see you here on time," she teased. She flipped her long, brown hair behind her shoulders, her deep green eyes twinkling as she smiled at him.  
  
Grinning, Jon bowed slightly. "I try," he answered simply. "I see our director is in one of her moods again."  
  
Kit laughed. "Always a pleasure to witness those. Remember your lines this time?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, this time I remember them… I hope."  
  
"All right! Places! Come on people! We're wasting valuable time!" Mayhem shouted.  
  
"Here we go," Jon grinned.  
  


****

  
"Fuck, Silent Bob, you suck as a navigator," Jay whined. "This can't be the way to that damned house."  
  
Shrugging as a response, Silent Bob kept walking, ignoring Jay and his ranting over each car that passed them with girls inhabiting the vehicle.  
  
Secretly Silent Bob decided that pissing Jay off would be his mission, instead of waking up Dante right away, and so he set a new course for Main Street in Red Bank.  
  
"That bitch wanted me. Fuck, that whole car of bitches wanted me!" Jay shouted at the street.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Silent Bob wondered if any chick would ever want to take on Jay and his ramblings. Hell, the boy never had as second date in his life, yet he never got the hint.  
  
He lit up another cigarette as he turned the corner, eyes widening at the unexpected crowd blocking his way.  
  
"What the shit is this?" Jay yelled. "Outta my way!" He pushed his way through the crowd, Silent Bob following him, shrugging his shoulders as an apology to the numerous annoyed onlookers.  
  
Jay hated not knowing what was going on, which unfortunately for the poor boy happened quite a lot, what with all the weed he toked. "What the fuck is this shit?" As soon as he called that out, he turned to see a rather fine-looking girl, and winked at her. "Hey there, babe."  
  
The tall girl with long black hair and grey eyes smiled at him. "Hey handsome," she replied, biting her lip slightly.  
  
"What's your name?" Jay asked coyly.  
  
"Lynn, but all my friends call me Chesa, as in the luscious body of water, the Chesapeake," she winked.  
  
"Oh, sexy… my name's Jay." He flashed her a smile he knew drove his women mad while he checked out her obvious curves. "And behind me is my hetero lifemate, Silent Bob." As he pointed, Silent Bob nodded before taking another drag. "Mind tellin' me what's going on?"  
  
"They're shooting a movie over by Jack's Music Shop," Chesa explained, positioning herself better to show off those curves of hers. "Bon Jovi's supposed to be there, but the crowd's a little too big for me to see," she pouted.  
  
"Hell, a big crowd never stopped me before." He held out his hand to the girl, who took it readily. "Follow me, sweet cheeks."  
  
Silent Bob watched Jay act rather regal to this girl. Obviously he wanted to get in her pants and he thought his patented Jay charm would work wonders. _He really has no clue sometimes… Ass._ This Chesa girl seemed different from the regular girls Jay went after – she seemed like she actually had some brains. Though, he had to take points off for her going after Jay first. I mean, come on, what girl wouldn't want a silent knight like Silent Bob?  
  
The three sifted through the crowd, Jay shouting obscenities, Chesa never taking her eyes off of Jay, and Silent Bob still shrugging his way through the crowd.  
  
"Move the fuck outta my way! Jesus!" Jay screamed as he pushed people aside.  
  
He smiled at Chesa, nodding his head slowly as if to say 'That's how it's done.' Once they were at the front of the crowd, and the people around them were about to start chucking cans at Jay's head, they came across a security guard.  
  
"Keep it down over there," he snarled and motioned to the scene behind him. Jon and Kit were right in the middle of scene, and Jay's ranting and raving was beginning to get on the crowd's nerves.  
  
"Don't fuckin' tell me what to do!" Jay shouted. He looked back at Chesa, as if he wanted to get approval for his bold maneuver. She in turn blew him a kiss. Grinning, Jay turned back just in time to come face to face with the security guard.  
  
"Either keep it quiet or I'll have you removed from the premises."  
  
"Fuck. I have a right to stand here if I fucking want to," Jay countered.  
  
"And I have a right to see you removed from here," he stated.  
  
"Shit, this ain't worth it. C'mon." Jay motioned for Chesa and Silent Bob to follow him away from the security guard.  
  
"But, Jay, how am I gonna see Bon Jovi now?" Chesa whined, throwing him the most irresistible pout she could come up with.  
  
"Right this way, sugar lips," he answered. He didn't live in Red Bank and not know his way around it…er, okay, so he lived in Red Bank and knew most of the back alleys thanks to his job, but the rest of Red Bank… that was up to Silent Bob to know about. Taking her hand, Jay led the three into an alleyway a few stores down from Jack's Music Shop.  
  
"So you a local girl? I never saw you around before," Jay commented.  
  
"Oh, I just moved to town from L.A.," Chesa stated. _With my boyfriend, or soon to be ex… I hope_, she continued silently. How she had come to loathe Oscar, her boyfriend. He made a horrible lover, and if she had to yell out 'Oh Oscar no one does it like you' one more time, she was going to physically hurt him.  
  
Bob tapped on his shoulder. Jay was leading them right onto the set. This was not the best plan Jay had ever had. _Like he ever had a good one._  
  
"Not now, Bob," Jay spat. He turned his attention back to Chesa. "So, would you do a guy on the first date? Cause I heard girls from L.A. were easy."  
  
"Oh Jay, not all Cali girls will fuck you on the first night. Some have morals and need to actually like the guy. Take me for instance," Chesa explained.  
  
"Oh, and what does a sexy chick like you say about fucking me on the first night?" Jay grinned.  
  
"I'd say you need to find us someplace private-like," Chesa flirted.  
  
Silent Bob tapped Jay again, but it was too far gone thinking of how he was going to get some later. He tapped him harder on the shoulder, and was about to stop them in their tracks, but it was too late. Jay had led them directly onto the set, and right in front of Jack's Music Shop where Kit and Bon Jovi were taping a scene.  
  
"What the hell! Who are you! And what the hell are you doing on my set?! CUT!" Mayhem screamed.  
  
All the lights that were originally intended for Kit and Bon Jovi were pointed at the three intruders, and all three stopped dead in their tracks.  
  
"We come in peace!" Jay yelled and held up the Vulcan sign he had seen on an old rerun of Star Trek.  
  
Mayhem stormed over to them while her cast members casually made their way over to the donut table for an unscheduled break.  
  
"How the fuck did you get on my _closed_ set?" she demanded to know.  
  
"Well, we walked from…" Jay started to say but was cut off by one angry director.  
  
"No shit, you walked. And here I thought you had flown in," she growled, not amused. Then something occurred to her. Stepping back, Mayhem looked at Jay and Silent Bob and studied their profiles.  
  
"This just might work," she mused. "You two ever do work in front of a camera before?"  
  
"Well, there was this one time this chick taped us fucking…" Jay explained.  
  
"No, not _that_ kind of camera work," Mayhem shook her head. "Listen, you are going to be in this movie, or, I can have you arrested for trespassing. You decide."  
  
Jay had totally forgotten about the original mission they were sent on. Something about waking up Dante, but for what, he wasn't sure anymore. "So, this would mean, money, right?" he questioned, raising a brow as Silent Bob did the same, nodding his head vigorously.  
  
"Then it's set. Um, you, what's your name?" Mayhem asked the girl with them.  
  
"Chesa,"  
  
"Ah, Chesa, you stand over there, away from the cameras so I can get these boys in position. And you two… come with me," she instructed.  



	3. Chapter Three

Hello and welcome to chapter three. I had originally written this using 'real' names, but after about forty pages, I can't remember who is who... So I went back to nicknames. You'll see the real names used once, but after that nicknames are just so much easier to write with. Plus, you might actually recognize some of these gals with their nicknames! Enjoy! 

* * *

  


** Chapter Three**

  
"Where the hell are they?! Why aren't they here by now!" Firecracker cried, peering out the back window of Mush's car.  
  
Mush straightened himself in the backseat of his car. "Don't worry. They'll wake him up and get Dante's ass over here soon," he breathed. "We still have an hour before school. And an hour I'm missing of sleep," he grumbled.  
  
Firecracker groaned. She had just spent the past half hour making Mush forget about his sleep deprivation issues. "Mush, this is important to me," she pouted.  
  
"I know, but, sleep. It's just, such a wonderful thing."  
  
"Ya know what else is wonderful?" Firecracker smirked.  
  
"What?" Mush asked, oblivious.  
  
Firecracker slipped her arms around his neck and pulled him back towards her. "What we've been doing for the past 30 minutes."  
  
"Mush! Firecracker! What are you two doing?" Brooke 'Whiskey' Forrester yelled from the rear seat of Dominic 'Bumlets' Luciano's British Racing Green 1966 Ford Mustang. When anyone referred to the vehicle's color, if they didn't specifically add the British Racing part, Bumlets made sure to correct them immediately. _It's not just green!_ he stated frequently.  
  
Groaning, Firecracker poked her head out the window, only to see Bumlets, Gabrielle 'Blaze' Lanigan, Whiskey, Vincent 'Specs' Ashworth, Kate 'Lady Luck' Daniels, and Mark 'Scribbles' Vego all piled in Bumlets' Mustang. "Waiting for the Quick Stop to open! What's it look like?" she yelled back.  
  
"A major make-out session to me," Specs snickered and nearly lost the glasses off his nose when Lady Luck smacked his arm.  
  
"Watch it!" he frowned, pushing his glasses back up. He ran a hand through his brown hair and glared momentarily in Lady Luck's direction.  
  
"Firecracker! What do you so desperately need from a Quick Stop, and why haven't you just walked in there and bought it yet?" Lady Luck asked.  
  
"I desperately need my cherry lollipops and I haven't gone in there yet because it's not OPEN yet!" Firecracker yelled, exasperated.   
  
"I should have known she'd be camping outside a store for lollipops." Blaze shook her head.  
  
"Well, you have an hour till school starts. We all _better_ see you two there," Lady Luck warned.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Firecracker mumbled.  
  
"That's right, go back to smooching!" Specs teased as the car sped off.  
  
"If the store doesn't open before school starts, we _are_ going to school. right?" Mush asked.  
  
"Without my lollipops?!" Firecracker cried, outraged. "How would I ever survive?"  
  
"Sometimes you worry me, Firecracker." Mush stated.  
  
"Someone has to have that job. It just happens to be me," she smirked. There was no way she was going to leave that parking lot without lollipops, so until that store opened, Firecracker knew she would have to thoroughly distract Mush. She slipped her arms around him and went back to distracting.  
  


****

  
  
"Where is she?" Jeri-Lynn 'Goosey' Crane snapped, her long, curly brown hair bouncing from side to side as she paced back and forth.  
  
"Honey, Firecracker knew you two had that presentation today. I'm sure she's just running a little behind," Dom 'Itey' Vedder answered.  
  
"Look, there's Bumlets' Mustang pulling up. Maybe they know where she is." He pointed to the car as it pulled sharply into the parking lot.  
  
Sighing, Goosey trudged over to the Mustang and peered inside. Of course Firecracker wouldn't be in there. She _had_ to be with Mush. But where was she? Throwing her hands up in frustration, Goosey leaned her back against the vehicle.  
  
"Hey! Off the car!" Bumlets protested as he slid out of the driver's seat.  
  
"Sorry. Jeez, you really are a car nut," Goosey commented.  
  
"Nothing wrong with wanting to have a nice looking car," Bumlets protested.  
  
At that moment, the other car door slammed shut, and Bumlets whirled around. "Don't slam the door!"  
  
"Oops, I forgot," Scribbles offered as an excuse. He took Lady Luck's hand and swiftly walked towards the school.  
  
"Thanks for the ride!" Lady Luck called as she was dragged along.  
  
"Specs, I say we make a clean getaway before Bumlets sees we didn't properly secure the seat belts in his designated holders," Whiskey whispered.  
  
Nodding quickly, Specs grabbed her hand. "Hey, we um, have. to be."  
  
"We gotta go to the library before school starts," Whiskey finished and rolled her eyes. Specs really needed to work on excuses.  
  
"All right. See you in class then," Blaze stated. "Don't forget where the class is this time. It's not in the closet by the cafeteria!" she grinned.  
  
"Whoops, my bad. And here I thought Specs and I would never be discovered in there," Whiskey called back. "Too bad you and Bumlets had to find that place too!" she laughed.  
  
"You mean that wasn't just a rumor?" Goosey asked.  
  
"Um, no comment?" Bumlets answered.  
  
"I'll remember you said that," she quipped. "You didn't see Firecracker around, did you?"  
  
Bumlets nodded. "We saw her and Mush at the Quick Stop on our way here."  
  
"What is she doing there? We have a presentation today!" Goosey groaned.  
  
Itey walked over to his upset girlfriend and stopped chewing on his suspenders long enough to slide his arms around her waist. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Look, the two boys together again. Did we ever get nametags for you two?" Blaze asked.  
  
"Itey, the God, and Bumlets, the car nut," Goosey smirked, then sighed. "Firecracker is apparently over at the Quick Stop."  
  
Itey kissed Goosey's cheek. "Maybe she's getting last minute supplies, or brain food."  
  
Bumlets shook his head. "Lollipops. She needs her lollipops and she's waiting for the store to open. Of course, Dante is late."  
  
"Lollipops again? It's always the lollipops! Cherry this, cherry that! Have you seen her room? It's like a cherry farm exploded and it all wound up in her bedroom," Goosey explained.  
  
"Her room's pretty sweet," Blaze interjected.  
  
Goosey shrugged. "If you like cherries, I guess. But third period we have a presentation and we need to go over some things!"  
  
"So hopefully Dante will be there by then," Bumlets shrugged. "But you know she won't do a presentation without her cherry lollipops."  
  
"Yeah, I know," Goosey grumbled.  
  
Itey sighed and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Come on. I'll help you practice your part of the speech until class starts," he offered.  
  
"This is why your nametag says God on it," Goosey grinned before pulling Itey with her. "Bye you two!"  
  
Blaze waved. "Bye!" she called back.  
  
Bumlets turned to her and pouted. "I am not that much of a car nut, am I?"  
  
"Honestly? Yes, you are. But you're my car nut, and I love you anyway," Blaze smirked.  
  


****

  
  
"Mmph.Dante, wake up." Barbara 'MBoid' Kent mumbled, brushing the auburn hair from her face.  
  
"What time is it?" he muttered before rolling over to face her.  
  
"7:30!" MBoid exclaimed. "Shit! I'm gonna be late for school!" She scampered out of bed, taking the sheets with her.  
  
"Just be lucky my mother is already at work and didn't hear you just shout at the top of your lungs," he stated.  
  
"Just be glad I woke you up at all. You're already late for work, ya know," she pointed out.  
  
"Work! Oh shit!" Dante grimaced. "I forgot I had to fucking open today! Dammit. why me?"  
  
MBoid chucked a pillow in his direction. "You're the one that agreed to taking this shift. It's your own damn fault. Now get up, and get dressed."  
  
Tossing the sheets back on the bed, MBoid grabbed her clothes and stormed off to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Dante figured another five minutes of sleep couldn't hurt, and he pulled the sheets around him before closing his eyes.  
  
Emerging from the bathroom, MBoid scowled at the slumbering Dante. She grabbed the sheets and pulled them off, then jumped on the bed. "Get up!"  
  
"Ahh! Shit Boid!" Dante shouted. "I'm up!"  
  
MBoid rolled her eyes. "I really wonder sometimes why I sleep with you." She threw herself back on the bed. "You know, Davey is at the top of his class. He's going to graduate with honors, and he already got into Princeton. If he wasn't such a horrible lover, I'd stay with him."  
  
"What?!" Now Dante was awake. "I thought you already broke things off with him! What do you mean you'd stay with him?"  
  
"Technically. I haven't broken things off. More like, postponed, I guess," she started to explain.  
  
"Postponed? What the hell does that mean? Am I some sort of test run?"  
  
"I mean, I agreed with him that we could see other people. Ya know, to take a break from things. That sorta thing," she continued.  
  
"You what?! I thought it was over with him! You mean to tell me you're fucking us both?!" Dante shot up out of the bed and stared at her in disbelief.  
  
"I'm not fucking you both! I'm just fucking you! Jesus, Dante! Davey and I are in a point in our relationship where we needed to take a step back. I hardly see the boy!" MBoid hastily searched the room for her purse and backpack.  
  
"I can't believe this," he scowled. Dante rummaged through the heap of clothes on the floor and grabbed a shirt before trudging to the bathroom. "I thought you and Davey were over for good!" he shouted from behind the closed door.  
  
"We will be if you calm down already! Monmouth County ain't so small, ya know. There are plenty of other guys I could be with, but I'm in your room, am I not?" she pointed out.  
  
Dante walked out of the bathroom with a toothbrush stuck in his mouth. "Still. If you're going to be my girlfriend, then you need to tell Davey it's totally over."  
  
"Oh, so I've been promoted from a good lay to your girlfriend? How nice of you to inform me!" she exclaimed with dripping sarcasm.  
  
Throwing up his hands, Dante went back into the bathroom to finish brushing his teeth. After many distinct gargling noises, he entered the bedroom again. "I thought you knew that. I thought I knew that! Hell, I thought the whole town would know soon enough! You're not just some girl I'm fucking, I thought we were an item!"  
  
MBoid rolled her eyes. "Maybe next time, you'll actually partake on formalities and _ask_ me to be your girlfriend, instead of just inviting me back a couple nights a week for a sleepover."  
  
Dante opened his mouth to continue the conversation, but hesitated.  
  
"I have to get to school," MBoid muttered and stormed out of the room.  
  
Feeling rather depressed, Dante flopped back on the bed and pulled a pillow over his head.   



	4. Chapter Four

Thank you to Noodle and Rumor! Love ya both! 

* * *

**Chapter Four**

  
"Jack, there you are!" Andrea 'Autumn' Knight smiled as she walked up to her boyfriend.  
  
"Auty!" Christian 'Jack' Karl grinned. For some reason, both Christian and his family loved first names, so Christian had three, including his nickname… "And I thought you'd stay home today." He slipped his arms around her waist. "What with all the um, alcohol we consumed last night."   
Autumn shook her head, her wavy, dark brown hair blocking her vision as she did so. "Contrary to popular believe, I can control my drinking habits… well, sometimes," she mumbled. "At least the hangover was small."  
  
Jack chuckled and kissed her cheek. "Finish all your homework?"  
  
"Um, no… but that's what study hall is for," she grinned.  
  
"Autumn! You actually came!" Whiskey shouted down the hall.  
  
Autumn turned to see Whiskey and Specs walking towards her. "Why does everyone think I wouldn't have shown up?"  
  
"Because of the amount of liquor you drank… Oof…" Specs was cut off by Whiskey's elbow gently lodged in his rib.  
  
Rolling her eyes, Autumn turned to Whiskey. "So, did you study?"  
  
"Math and I will never get along and I refuse to increase the torture by actually opening that book to study," Whiskey answered and glared at her math book, muttering 'bastards!'  
  
Autumn laughed. "That's right, I forgot. Math is a 'rat bastard'. Well, that doesn't change the fact that we have a test today."  
  
"I'll get by," Whiskey answered simply. "And then throw my book in a bonfire afterwards," she grinned.  
  
"And then you'll curse like hell once you don't get an A," interjected a girl of about 5'5" tall with short, straight blonde hair. Her low-top, black converse squeaked to a stop near Whiskey, Autumn, Jack, and Specs in the hall. Placing her hands on her knees, the girl breathed heavily, and periodically looked behind her.  
  
"Alright, what'd you do now Bitter?" Jack asked.  
  
Melody 'Bitter' Anderson looked up to see four pairs of eyes watching her skeptically. "Nothing," she shrugged and started to stand up straight.  
  
"Yeah, sure it's nothing. That's like me fucking saying I love math. So tell us already Bits," Whiskey spat.  
  
"Okay, so I kind of scratched up Spot's car the other day… and he found out about it this morning." Bitter winced at the recollection.  
  
"You're dead," Autumn commented plainly.  
  
"I'm not dead yet. I just have to dodge him until lunch. I have a plan then," Bitter informed them. She grinned and crossed her arms. "He'll be putty in my hands by one o'clock."  
  
"BITTER!" Patrick 'Spot' Burke shouted from down the hall. "Get your ass over here right now!"  
  
"Shit, gotta go. See ya!" Bitter took off down the hall and scrambled around the corner.  
  
A few moments later, the group observed as Spot raced past them, his icy blue eyes focused on the moving target ahead of him, and sharply turned the corner after Bitter.  
  
"She's dead," Autumn repeated.  
  
"Well, I'll see you in second period then, Autumn. Specs and I still have to get to that library sometime before class starts." Whiskey squeezed Specs' hand and grinned wickedly at him.  
  
"Alright, see ya," Autumn answered, not noticing the grin plastered across Whiskey's face.  
  
Snickering, Jack pulled Andrea towards him as Whiskey and Specs walked off. "They're not headed to the library," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"Oh?" Autumn asked, raising a brow.  
  
"Nope. They're headed towards the cafeteria, which means one thing…"  
  
"The closet," they whispered in unison, laughing afterwards.  
  
"We need a place like that," Jack suggested innocently.  
  
"Be good and you never know what I have up my sleeve," Autumn grinned.  
  
"Can I carry your books for you? Need lunch money? Can I give you a piggyback right to your class, sweetie?" Jack asked hurriedly.  
  
"Woah there, mister. There's more to being nice than just paying me off and carrying my books around… But it's a very good start," she added before handing him her schoolbooks.  
  
"The piggyback ride can wait for later."  
  


****

  
  
"Look, we're not going to make it to school on time, Firecracker," Mush started. "And I really need to be there today. My Spanish grade depends on it!"  
  
"Shh, Mush, Dante will be here soon, right? You said so yourself. Plus, you don't even have Spanish until after lunch."  
  
"But, you know the school is gonna call our houses and my mother is not exactly going to be pleased that I skipped a class or two," Mush sighed.  
  
"Fine," Firecracker relented. We'll just go about things a different way then."  
  
Mush raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Come on." Firecracker climbed out of the car and pulled Mush out with her. She rummaged in his trunk and pulled out a wrench, then grabbed his hand. They went right past the small crowd banging on the front door of the Quick Stop and circled around to the back of the building.  
  
"What exactly do you have in mind?" Mush questioned.  
  
"You want to go to school and I want my lollipops. There's only one way to get both," she answered.  
  
"Wait a minute…" Mush finally started to figure out her plan. "You want to break into the Quick Stop?!"  
  
"How hard can it be?" Firecracker asked. "There's a back door with the crappiest lock on it. All we gotta do is break the lock and we're in. The owners are so cheap they haven't even installed an alarm yet. All we have to watch out for are the cameras."  
  
"How the hell do you know all this?"  
  
"Um, I uh, saw it on an episode of Cops once?" Firecracker explained.  
  
Mush sighed. "Can we just get this over with? Spanish awaits me, and I didn't plan on breaking and entering today," he finished sarcastically.  
  
Firecracker handed the wrench to Mush and grinned. "Go ahead, break the lock."  
  
"Me?!" he cried.  
  
"Oh Jesus…" Firecracker grabbed the wrench and slammed it against the aged lock, sending it flying to the ground. "Wimp."  
  
"I'm not a wimp!" Mush complained as Firecracker slowly opened the back door.  
  
Firecracker placed a finger to her lips. "Shh!" she scolded. "Why not just advertise we got in here to all those angry customers out front and yell some more?"  
  
"Sorry," Mush mumbled as he closed the door behind them.  
  
Motioning for him to keep his back bent so the customers still banging on the door in the front wouldn't see them, Firecracker made her way towards the prized lollipops, conveniently located at the back of the store.  
  
"My babies!" Firecracker grinned. She plucked the lollipops from the stand and hugged them close. "How I missed you!"  
  
Mush secretly wished Firecracker would greet him like that a little more often. "Okay, so we have the lollipops… Can we get out of here before we get caught?"  
  
Firecracker stuffed as many lollipops as she could in her pockets, then, ironically enough after breaking and entering, proceeded to the front counter, crouching the entire way, and placed enough money to cover her purchase near the litter box that desperately needed to be cleaned. "Ew, gross…"  
  
"Firecracker, come on!" Mush urged from the back entrance.  
  
Pinching her nose between two fingers, Firecracker hurried to the back entrance, then stopped suddenly. "Mush?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I didn't thank you for doing this for me," she stated.  
  
"You're welcome… Now come on."  
  
"No, come here." Firecracker pulled on Mush's collar and smashed her lips against his.  
  
After struggling to break free, Mush's eyes widened. "Here?!"  
  
Firecracker merely shrugged, then started pulling him towards the store's closet. "We _do_ have to keep up our tradition of christening closets you know… And Whiskey and Specs _did_ beat us to that one near the cafeteria. This will just secure our lead by one more."  
  
Once Firecracker started nipping at his neck, Mush suddenly forgot about school, irate parents, and grades, and he remembered how he wanted Firecracker to treat him more like those beloved lollipops of hers.  
  
Soon they had both forgotten about the cameras and the fact that it helped to get fully into the closet before tearing at each others' clothing.  
  


****

  
  
"So, do you think you can handle that?" Mayhem asked a very confused Jay.  
  
"Yeah, of course," he replied cockily. As soon as Mayhem turned her back to see if Kit and Jon were in their places, Jay shot Silent Bob a confused look.  
  
Silent Bob rolled his eyes. _How hard is it to walk down the street and wave at someone?_ That was all Mayhem has asked Jay to do, but Jay was still hopelessly lost. Silent Bob motioned for Jay to stand where Mayhem had told him to originally and then walked to his own spot.  
  
"Okay, let's try to get this scene done by lunch!" Mayhem shouted.  
  
As soon as action was called, Jay looked over at Chesa, wiggling his eyebrows as he started envisioning some action with her.  
  
Silent Bob slapped his forehead and turned away, knowing what Mayhem was about to do – scream.  
  
"CUT! Damnit Jay! What the hell are you doing?!" she shouted.  
  
Jay whipped around to come face to face with a steaming Mayhem. "Huh?"  
  
"Jay, _walk_ down the god damn street… Can you do that for me? Huh? Can ya?" she asked, her voice clearly agitated.  
  
"I _was_ walkin' down the fucking street. Whatcha talking about?" he asked.  
  
"No, you were standing there like an ass! Try it again!" she yelled. Mayhem stormed back to her chair and waited for everyone to get set up again.

Kit and Jon looked at each other and frowned. This was going to be one hell of a long day.  
  
Once again action was called, and once again Jay stood there gazing at Chesa, visions of hot sex in one of the set's trailers soaring through his mind.  
  
"CUT! Jay! Walk down the fucking street!" Mayhem screamed.  
  
"Give me a fucking minute! Fuck, those two didn't even start their lines yet!" Jay pointed to Kit and Jon, trying to find some sort of an excuse.  
  
"That's because they don't start their lines yet until you start walking the fuck down the street!" Mayhem yelled back.  
  
"Fuck, someone's bitchy," Jay whispered to Silent Bob, who merely hid his head, not wanting to be involved.  
  
"Once more, _please_," Mayhem grumbled. _Fucking dipstick._   
  
As action was called once more, Jay started to walk down the street, Silent Bob at his side, but as he waved like he was supposed to, he tripped on the sidewalk and slammed into the front door of Jacks' Music Shop.  
  
"CUT! Fuck this. LUNCH BREAK!" Growling, Mayhem stormed off to her trailer, not noticing that it wasn't even close to lunchtime yet.  
  


****

  
  
"Holy shit that was amazing…" Mush breathed.  
  
Firecracker grinned. "Told ya I'd thank you." She threw him his shirt and smoothed down her hair. "Ready for that lovely Spanish class now?"  
  
"Ugh, I forgot about Spanish. Yeah, let's go."  
  
Just as Firecracker and Mush made their exit out the back door, Randall appeared, and laughed at the irate people outside. "What's going on?" he asked innocently.  
  
"Nobody's opened the fucking store yet!" one man yelled.  
  
"Wow, that must suck." Walking away from the crowd, Randall hopped in Dante's car, which, he had borrowed last night without asking, and sped off towards Dante's mother's house. _No wonder he never called me in the morning yelling for his fucking car back._  



End file.
